Where Am I From

Cinnamon is known as a place where people have interesting conversations and trigger thoughts. Our guest blogger Sujata is one such person who went on a train of thought while chatting with hosts Manish and Shilpi. Sujata is a senior Montessori trainer and teacher from Bangalore. She visits Gurgaon regularly on work and for the past two times has been staying at Cinnamon homestay.She loves travel and long chats over the dinner table. And when last her sister asked if she was getting bored in Gurgaon, she said she is afraid she now might get bored when back in Bangalore :) 
We bring to you a direct "dil se" post that she so thoughtfully shared with us. Thank you Sujata!
 

Hi friends, I'm sharing the gist of what transpired in 'Cinnamon Stays', my home away from home at Gurgaon. Manish and Shilpi make the guests so comfortable that we forget that we are the guests. In the post dinner chat one night(That may go on to more than an hour, without me noticing the passage of time) even as we were chatting, some of my random thoughts fell into place and here it is.....

A very common thing that we do when we meet someone is to try to place where their origin is, as in 'Where are you from?'

When people meet me for the first time, they try to guess, and the answer ranges from- are you Gujrati? A Marwari? to Are you 'Madras brahmin(First time i heard the term) And often people say, 'I can't place from where you are;-)'

All these set off the question- in fact reminded me of the question that would dog me- 'Which state do I belong to?' You see, I am born to Kannadiga(from Karnataka) parents, born and brought up in New Delhi.... And married and settled in Bangalore(the place of my parents origin)

There were enough of south Indian practices at home and at family friends place, that was a part of me. As also was the north indian practices with friends and their homes at young age ensured that I absorbed that too.

It is an interesting journey that I have had. In my early life, I had no such question in my mind, till Geography lessons differentiated me from my friends, as I was from Karnataka, living in Delhi (as someone put it, 'My Madrosi friend..'.) Then came marriage and move to Bagalore- one that I hated. First ten years I was still pining for Delhi till time healed the wounds and I settled into being a Bangalorean( truly so when I realised my chaste Hindi had acquired a south Indian and I wanted to have curds at the end of my meal) There followed a phase of protest in my mind, then feeling lost as I felt I could not own both the identities and then graceful acceptance- of the accent as well as the fact that I am a Kannadiga.

Now that I am back in Gurgaon for long periods, each thing reminds me of what was part of my life long years ago. The colour of the soil-same as my Delhi home. The accent. The air. The people- I can see the characteristic features of the sub communities of North, who now wear clothes very foreign to what they used to wear those 30 long years ago.. That just made me realise how much I had absorbed and knew.

Now I am in a phase of life where I gladly welcome and embrace both the heritage and own both in my mind. That makes me unique and interesting as people struggle to slot me into some region of India. I realised it was made all the more difficult by my schooling in Kendriya Vidyalaya. That is a great leveller and laid the foundation of accepting people as themselves rather than Where they come from.

At the end, still, Main, dil se, Dilli wali hoon!

(Picture courtesy - Sujata R Kumar)